Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize