The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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