I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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