mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
