you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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