with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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