Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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