She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
