my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
