so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
