I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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