I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
