the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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