Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize