if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
