just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
