My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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