It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
