That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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