last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
