you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
