JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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