she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
