We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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