just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
