can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
