I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
