I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
