Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
