if you like me you must not know who I am
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
