The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is Oprah even human
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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