Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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