we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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