Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
