sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize