He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
