well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
