So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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