My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
