we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
