bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
