Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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