I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
