great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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