he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
