yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
