would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
