So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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