I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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