dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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