So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
