how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
