I love black thongs
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
