Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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