Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
