Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
