I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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