He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
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I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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